I have plenty of ideas. I'm always thinking (which may or may not be my downfall) and have thought up some interesting things. I'm a strong believer in computers (and don't use the matrix as a defense for not giving power to robotic computers, the only reason that the machines went bad was because people wanted to kill them off, in the movie. I'm not even sure that an ingenious programmer wouldn't be able to stop that from happening). I believe that communism could work ...if it didn't rely on humans at all. a system where people are alotted annual grants of money and are free to do what they like would be nice though, and if everything was run by self-sufficient computers, then it would be possible.
I think about math a lot, it's great, I'm a science kinda guy though I'm more computer oriented (BIOS means basic input output systems, there are 8bits per byte because of the string of 1's and 0's are arranged in groups of 8...etc., etc.) I love them.

I'm quite a sensitive guy. I know people well, I've had lots of time to observe social interaction from afar (on account of being the outcast) and I am very perceptive. I feel deeply when I allow myself to feel, and thus get hurt easily. I am a pretty good judge of people (and yes, all people have their flaws and claws) and I know that everyone have negatives, but I can easily see past that to all the good things. I love being around people, even though I won't go out of my way to see them (unless of course they are a special person to me), which there are so few.

I have lot's of memories. I would rather forget most of them, but I know I won't and I know that they will follow me wherever I go. I've learned to deal with them quite well actually and I think that I'm going to need therapy in the future (but then again, everyone needs a little therapy) I just hope that I'm stable enough to make it there. I'm not the type to do anything rash, I like to think things through completely before I make a decision or do anything. It means that I'm slow, but I'm not compulsive, so I'll probably live one of them long and boring lives where nothing happens.

I'm not that much of an opinionated person. I'm usually easily swayed in my beliefs easily cause they aren't substantial, but when there is something that I believe completely I would fight for hours about it and I won't give up until I've convinced the other person (that is, if it's something that I can back up and something that is obviously true, not things that are elusive and depend on blind faith). I believe that the only goal in life is happiness, when you look back on your life in the end nothing else will matter, you won't care whether you had lots of possesions, a great job, or a ton of sex,(and sex is not happiness). Though these things may effect your happiness a little, they haven't a great amount of lasting happiness attached to them. When you look back on your life, it's only important how happy you were, and that's what I believe.

After all this, there is still a lot of things going on inside my head (mostly analytical hindsight, and hating how stupid I was being). I think about everything too much, I start going in circles, and I pretty much decide all possible meanings for different situations and pick out the most fanciful one to believe in (I never used to, but I do now) not the most reasonable one (well, I don't really, but I think that there's a possibility no matter how slim, even if there isn't a possibility).

Most of all, I'm regretful, of things that could have been, at things that never will be (if you know me then you should know what I'm talking about, if you don't, you should still have some idea). I'm alright with it, but I can't help but think that I've blown my only chance, and I've not forgiven myself for it. I don't know when I will be able to either, but I'm happy that I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Knowledge is something. Something that I strive for, it's pretty much what I live for. I've gained qite a bit, though I won't let it show because that's a silly thing to do. I have a pretty good understanding of human behaviour and I can usually read what is going on with people. I know too much though, sometimes knowledge, like hindsight and in unision with hindsight, is counter productive. Knowing what I should have done, knowing what's going on, knowing exactly what it is that I have lost, knowing that there is nothing that makes me happy anymore. It's all quite dangerous especially in unision with my depression memories.

Another thing about me is that I'm easily depressed. I look around and see so many happy people and I usually wonder why I can't find that happiness myself. I've tried hard to be a cheerful person, or to at least be able to seem like I'm happy. I am pessemistic and I tend to see the negatives and ignore all the positives, which is a sad thing, because sometimes I don't realize all that I have and it takes someone to remind me of what it is. Though, I'm pretty sure that people don't know me well enough (until after they read this, maybe) to be able to tell me that I'm a good person or to be able to tell when I'm depressed and be able to cheer me up. Most people's ability at spreading cheer is "cheer up" and nothing more.

My mind relies on logic to work. I'm depressed easily because I use logic to justify that I've got reason to be, however flawed that logic is (which I'm not sure it's always flawed) if someone would use any amount of jaded logic on me then that would be much better than "cheer up". I use this logic all the time, everything needs to be justified in science and I have a science mind. Logic is what I use to explain (except when I don't need to explain) and I will always abide by it.

I think that somehow I'm flawed, but that's the way I am and that's the way I will remain.